Titiksha Bhatia 
What does it mean to be a man in 2024?
Strong. Brave. Kind. Powerful. Respectful?
The truth is you shouldn’t be defined by anyone else. YOU get to decide the kind of man you want to be. However, navigating how to become the man you truly want to be can sometimes be tricky. There are so many opinions and feelings tied up in modern-day masculinity. So have you ever asked yourself, what masculinity is?
India’s concept of masculinity, like many cultures, is a complex and evolving story.
Early texts offer a range of ideals. Warriors were admired for strength, but there’s evidence of valuing knowledge and artistic pursuits as well. As we reached the medieval times, concepts like “Mardangi” (manliness) emerged, emphasizing strength, honor, and dominance over women. Caste played a big role, with different expectations for masculinity based on social standing. In the colonial era, the British introduced their ideas of masculinity, often linked to stoicism and physical prowess. This interacted with existing ideals, creating a more rigid and sometimes Westernized view of what it meant to be “manly” in India. Nationalism and social movements challenged some aspects of traditional masculinity. However, patriarchal structures remain strong, with issues like emphasis on family lineage and emotional restraint persisting.
Today, India’s masculinity is in flux. Social media, economic changes, and growing feminism are prompting a re-evaluation of what it means to be an Indian man. There’s a move towards a more nuanced masculinity that embraces emotional expression and challenges traditional power structures.
Masculinity is a set of social norms and rules that tell men how they should behave in society. It dictates men always to be self-sufficient, brave, tough, and emotionally strong to maintain their status and respect as men.
In other words Qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men, “handsome”, “muscled”, and “driven”.
Due to stigma and societal pressures, males are less likely to seek help for mental health issues. Unhealthy or toxic masculinity may not allow males to fully express themselves and their emotional needs because people may view it as a sign of weakness or vulnerability.
The social impacts of toxic masculinity are evident when examining rates of violence, drug-related crime, anti-social behaviours, drug overdoses, and suicides. There is also a high correlation between toxic masculinity and the lack of accountability in rehab.
I remember once my brother said to me
“just trying to lock away my emotions so my friends didn’t think I was “weak”.”
Masculinity as a concept isn’t necessarily as harmful as being strong, confident, and independent, but it’s when these get pushed to an excess to the point of causing harm, being pushed in terms of rigid ideals to sit by and if not followed then individuals are ostracized, it becomes an issue. Masculinity can be healthy when channeled in constructive ways and offers a range of benefits both for men and the communities they live in. At its core, positive masculinity emphasizes strength, but not just in a physical sense. It promotes emotional resilience, the capacity for self-reflection, leadership, responsibility, and the ability to protect and provide for others.
Effects of Masculine Ideals on Queer Men
Masculine ideals have a significant impact on many aspects of life for queer men, influencing everything from self-perception to social interactions and mental health
- Many queer men grow up in environments where traditional masculine ideals are strictly enforced. These ideals often equate masculinity with heterosexuality, leading some queer men to internalise homophobia and develop negative self-perceptions. The pressure to conform to these ideals can cause dissonance between their true selves and the personas they feel compelled to adopt.
- The media and popular culture often portray a very narrow definition of masculinity, emphasizing traits such as muscularity and physical strength. This can lead to body image issues among gay men, who may feel pressured to achieve a certain physique to be considered attractive or to fit into the queer community.
- The stress of conforming to masculine ideals can have serious mental health implications. Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem are common among queer men, even more so than men where the percentage of such things and suicidal tendencies is already quite high, who feel they do not meet these societal standards. The stigma and discrimination that accompany deviation from traditional masculine norms can exacerbate these issues, leading to higher rates of mental health challenges in the queer community.
- Masculinity ideals can influence sexual behaviour and identity among queer men. The emphasis on dominance and control as masculine traits can lead to a preference for certain sexual roles, which might not align with an individual’s true preferences. This can result in a disconnect between one’s sexual identity and behaviour, impacting sexual satisfaction and overall well-being.
While the pressure to conform to traditional masculine ideals poses significant challenges for gay men, awareness and active resistance against these norms can lead to healthier, more fulfilling lives for all men. Embracing diversity within the spectrum of masculinity allows for greater authenticity and well-being within the gay community and beyond.
The reality of the situation is that every single human has a brain, and therefore experiences emotions! And to get rid of the toxic masculinities in society, we need to enforce the message that “it’s okay not to be okay” – whoever you are. All of these expectations are based on outdated gender norms, and they’ve caused so many issues – and even fatalities – among boys and men. One solution is for men to learn how to express their emotions, especially sadness. It starts with being honest with yourself; in other words, don’t try to suppress the fact that you’re feeling sadness. Having other people, particularly other men to speak to and open up to also helps so much, because so often they will have felt something similar. And understand that no problem is too small to reach out for support! Getting help early can prevent these difficulties from developing into more severe mental health conditions.
